


Perfect

by angelicdolly



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alois character study, Character Study, I wrote this originally in 2014-, I've edited it a bit to fix mistakes but thats about it, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 09:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13995654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelicdolly/pseuds/angelicdolly
Summary: Alois visits Astre and basically is fighting off an existential crisis the entire way there





	Perfect

_"When I'm at my wit's end_

_And I'm losing my head_

_You remind me of just how lucky I am"_

The boy sat on the bed and glanced around the room, surveying exactly what he had for his own. That only belonged to him, and him alone. The light lavander walls. The large windows that were scattered on said walls. The soft duvet that covered his bed. The servants who were terrified of him, and the one who he loved ignored him. The manor was worth it, but the back story behind it was chilling, and one that surely nobody would believe it anyway? Maybe it would have been better if he died with the others.

Then again, he didn't really want to die. The child was damned to hell and he knew that, but really, who actually wants to die? To finally realise what death is like, to live through it, is quite a terrifying concept.

He stopped dreaming years ago, and on the rare times he did, he was plagued by the nightmares. Every time. "This is tiring…" The blonde muttered, slowly standing from his bed. He sighed and walked over to his large window, resting his hands on the edge and leaning out.

Why did his wish die? Surely, giving the nature, that dream would survive. But it was like all the others. It slowly twisted into a nightmare, being watched over and nurtured by the demon known as Claude Faustus.

"I'm sorry…" He spoke to nobody in particular, closing his eyes as he opened the glass frame. The trees swayed in the wind, their green leaves almost making it look like they were dancing. The blonde giggled at that. On the ground, the grass was also swaying, and the flowers looked like they were going to take off. He almost wanted to leave with them.

But still, he had no real plan to leave. This was where he belonged. Trapped inside the stone walls, like a prisoner. Being stared at by a demon that didn't really care for him. 'Why won't you look at me like you did before?' The blonde often wondered.

Oh well, it made him stronger. In his mind anyway. This way, he would be ready for anybody who was going to leave him, and he wouldn't be hurt anymore. That would make everything better. But wasn't that a lie?

Still, when would Claude become like he was before?

"Claude, ready the carriage." Alois turned to face his butler, who bowed in his presence.

"Yes, your highness." The demon nodded, replying in his ever stoic voice.

Your highness. Prince. He laughed quietly as the man walked away, fixing his glasses on the way. "You think of me as anything but a prince". The boy muttered, following his servant out the door, glancing at Hannah, with her ever present stare.

"What are you looking at?" A kick, and she fell to the ground. Her hair covered her face as her master glared, her obsession, glared. "Do you find me funny?!" A stomp to the chest, followed by another and another, but still, the maid smiled. Growling in frustration, the boy turned away, muttering slurs under his breath.

"Who does she think she is?.." Gritted teeth hissed, as the sound of heels echoed down the empty halls until the owner reached the door. The door opened, and the Earl made his way down the steps.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Hannah listened as Alois walked, a faint smile on her face. With that, the lavander haired maid turned around and started mopping the floor.

"Claude." The carriage door opened, letting the Earl climb inside, sitting himself on the soft red cushions that decorated the interior. With a soft slam, the door closed and the carriage creaked slightly as the butler sat on the drivers seat. There was a soft sound of a whip, a whine of protest from the horses, then the carriage started to move.

With a sigh, the boy lent his head against the glass pane, feeling all the bumps in the road.

Imperfections.

He groaned and closed his eyes, the coldness of the window leaving his head feeling numb.

Sleep. The time where people could forget all their hardships, or relive them in awful clarity. Alois was the latter today. When he fell asleep, he couldn't say. Twitching and turning on the seat, the butler being forced to slow down considerably to avoid the possibility of a very angry master.

A small hand clenched the seat as the body curled up, before bright eyes shot open, and he sat up straight quickly. "Damn.." A sigh escaped his lips and his head shook in defeat. "Heh." The blonde laughed quietly, glancing out of the now fogged up window.

Tree after tree. Nothing else. Dull.

Soon, the carriage started slowing down, and a large manor came into view, the thickness of the woods diminishing. Claude drove the carriage into a clearing and opened the door, stepping aside for his master, who was bouncing in his seat, on the verge of giddiness.

The boy climbed out and listened to the soft slam of the door. A wide smile forming on his face, he started running up to the mansion, jumping over the dents and sharp stones in the gravel.

Childish. The butler narrowed his eyes, ever so slightly, that you would need to have super vision to see it. What was happening to his master? He had never been the most mature boy, but he was reversing back into what could be compared to a toddler, complete with temper tantrums and an unpredictable personality. It was all that boys fault.

That boy, with the most tempting soul he had ever smelt, much superior to his own masters. But it ran the risk of being tainted she to a redicolous secret.

The secret. That one secret that could ruin them both. Gender. What use was gender really? It just got in the way. Boys. Girl. Boys are supposed to like girls, while girls are supposed to like boys. However, that didn't always happen.

Alois, and his secret relationship with the Earl Phantomhive.

With a sigh, the blonde started to slow down, averting his eyes to the ground. Boys are supposed to like girls. His companion was engaged, to a girl. A stupid girl! As much as he insisted that he only loved Alois, why had he not called off the betrothal. 'Because I don't want to hurt her' It's not hurting her! It's not! It's not! It's not! It's hurting him! Even though she knew and was fine with them doing this, why oh why couldn't they just call it off?!

'Society would fight back.'

Maybe life was just unfair like that. Children die before their time, children have their innocence snatched away, children are betrayed, children are hurt. Children? Could Earl Alois Trancy still count as a child?

Shaking his head of the thoughts, he raised his hand and knocked on the door, looking up at the grand entrance. In less than a second, the door opened, revealing a pitch black butler blocking out the sunlight from filling the hall.

He stepped aside as the boy walked inside, followed by the Faustus demon. "Stay here Claude." A muffled reply, but the Earl wasn't really listening. Already, he was running upstairs. A held breath as he saw the door, careful steps as he made his way over. Pressing his ear against the wood, no sounds were heard.

Asleep.

Peacefully asleep. How can he do that?

Astre Phantomhive. Strange that, they both became head of the family through less than savoury means. When they first met, Alois said they were the same, but he couldn't begin to imagine just how accurate that was.

A small smile growing on his face, Alois opened the door. Laying on the bed, mouth parted, he soft hand palm upwards, like he was catching the sunbeams seeping in through the cracks in the curtains, his eyelids shut with just the occasional flickering.

"What are you dreaming about, hmm?" Alois asked. He sat on the edge of the bed, the creaking causing a moan in protest to escape the bluenette. The blonde boy giggled and slowly moved over to him, hovering over the sleeping boy, causing more protest and a hand to wave in his face.

"Too.. early..."

"What are you dreaming about?"

Could he trust him? Despite the many times that he insisted he loved the boy, were those words true? If not, what was he trying to gain from him? Was Astre like everybody else? Just wanting him for petty things...

Everytime Alois looked at him, those thoughts ran through his brain. Did Astre have a selfish wish that only he himself could grant?

"I was dreaming about getting a full nights sleep." A small chuckle left the bluenette as he pulled the boy into a kiss, a ghost of a smile felt on Alois' lips.

Or maybe he was just being cynical. Ciel did love him, but wasn't the best at showing him. One who struggled showing emotions, and one who couldn't control them. A funny mix, aren't they?

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I wrote this ages ago its so cheesy asdghkl
> 
> Fun story, the twin reveal hadn't happened yet but I desperately wanted to put that in. That's the only new lines.
> 
> This was definitely inspired by Honeythief by Halou and you should check them out
> 
> \--
> 
> Astre DOES want to break off the engagement with Lizzie and she knows that and would 10000% support that, however Victorian era logic was stupid and "being gay is an illness and a sin blah blah blah" and they would be at risk of either being locked up, framed and locked up, or because again, logic was bad, written off as schizophrenic and put in an institution. Don't blame either of them for that. Alois knows this too, it just messes with his bpd sometimes and he forgets.


End file.
